Scor­pio News


May 1989 – Volume 3. Final Issue.

Page 16 of 43

“That’s not helpful. And you might not have noticed, but I don’t seem to be on the same scale as you. There’s me up here and there’s you down there at my feet.” Feet again ! Perhaps I’m developing a feet fixation. “Do you think you could explain in words of half a syllable or less. WHERE THE HELL AM I ?”

“In Nascomland of course. We live here, and you arrived out of the blue as it were. And as to scale, you really should be more careful. I hear you did a severe damage to poor 7432. What had he done to hurt you ?”

“I’m sorry about 7432, I didn’t know. I hope any damage I’ve done can be mended.”

“Oh I dare say.”, said Z80, “I can’t talk to my esseyeoe any more, but he was boring anyway, so I can’t say I’m too upset about it. But you’d better keep it quiet, if some of the others get to hear of it, they won’t be too pleased. Could get nasty.”

I looked about, still nothing but shuffling in the darkness, but the shuffling took on a new menace. Are feet menacing ? “Tell me, Z80, where is Nascomland ?”, I asked as politely as I could.

“Here.” said Z80 glibly. “We’ve been watching you for years. You entered our galaxy as a speck some time ago, and for a while we thought you’d miss us entirely, but here you are and you’ve landed. Don’t you know where you came from ?”

“I confess I don’t know.”, I said, “I don’t seem to remember anything before I arrived here, although some of the things I’ve seen and heard seem familiar. Can I ask you a question ?”

“Seems to me you haven’t stopped asking questions, but go ahead anyway.”

This was going to be a major intellectual exercise, even before I asked, I knew it would upset him. “I see you’re well endowed with boots.” Why did I ask that, feet again. I didn’t mean to say that.

“What of it.”

This was bad. Why boots, if he’s got legs, it follows he’s got boots. There I go again – no stop, “Tell me, how do you tie up all those boot laces ?” Oh hell, this isn’t going right, I’ve upset him, he’s changing colour.

“I am shocked. Truly shocked.” From the tone, I could see he was having difficulty keeping control. “You come here uninvited. You tread on a valued friend and colleague. You – you behave like an imbecile – and – and now you insult my boots. What’s wrong with you. Is all you think about is boots, why boots, what’s wrong with my boots, there lovely boots. I’m not staying here to be insulted.” By now he was glowing a dull red. With a sudden scurrying movement, he shot off into the darkness.

Page 16 of 43